At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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