I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize