you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
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At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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