His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize