1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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