At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize