I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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