You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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