Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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