You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize