She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
drinking out of a sandbucket again
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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