Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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