I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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