She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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