ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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