dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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