I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
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He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
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Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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