i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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