Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize