there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize