We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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