It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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