I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize