Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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