I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have post one night stand depression
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