So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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