why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize