Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
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I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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