im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she woke up with a sticky ear
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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