Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This baby is an asshole
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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