I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
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He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
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THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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