my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize