Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't deserve a penis
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize