I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
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Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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