i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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