You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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