Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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