I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
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My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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