The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize