JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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