omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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