Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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