Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
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just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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