Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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