I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize