So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
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I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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