wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
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I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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