No awkward lesbian experiences without me
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize