Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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