You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize